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All the little pieces (365 Creative, Feb 2)

February 2, 2012

I’ve been thinking a lot about my identity these past few weeks, and wondering how the person I am now jives with this blog anymore.

When I started Non Compos Mentis Mama I was still muddling around in the rawness of motherhood. I wrote about trying to cook dinner amid chaos. Trying to drive amid chaos. Trying to do just about everything….amid chaos. It was glorious chaos all the time, and I learned–fast–how to jump from one thing to the next, never truly landing anywhere.

Now that the kids are so much older, things have mellowed. They can help with dinner, we all enjoy listening to music in the car, and they will even leave me alone for long stretches of time. Because life is so different, I have been contemplating my much-loved moniker. Maybe I’m just not Non Compos Mentis Mama anymore?

But after a few moments (well, days) of reflection, I realized that though things have certainly changed, and life isn’t quite as raw, I am definitely still me. Still muddled. Still scattered. Still about as non compos mentis as they come.

Now, my daily grind includes encouraging a certain reticent teen to put the iPod away and do some homework, dangit. It includes helping a not-so-small-anymore person figure out how to do a science fair project that involves chickens. It includes driving and driving and driving…because none of them are driving. Yet.

And on top of all of this, my daily grind includes trying to manage a bustling freelance business that seems to be getting busier by the second. This is, of course, great! But…I work solo. I am it. A sole proprietor wearing many, many hats.

So I forget shit. Today I almost completely spaced an important errand. A few weeks ago I almost forgot to pick up one of the kids from school (fortunately, this was the oldest kid, who hardly noticed that I didn’t show up on time).

Today, after remembering the important errand and successfully completing it, I sat in my car for a spell, all alone, and thought about things. Thought about organization, sanity, and my general feeling of headless chickenness. I’m definitely over extended, but this is not new. This is how I roll. Apparently.

While I sat and thought, I absentmindedly shot the pretty tree, above, with the billowing clouds behind it. A small moment of cell phone creativity as I pondered something larger. Something grand. Something….like a project.

Yes! A project! That’s what I do when I feel overwhelmed–I come up with even more to do.

BUT! This will be fun. It looks something like this: I need both a datebook and something in which to write lists and notes. Sometimes I think I also need a reminder to look at my reminders…but that’s another story for another time. Basically, I need an organizational system that makes sense to my scattered, frazzled brain. Something to capture stray thoughts, to do lists, phone numbers…the flotsam and jetsam of every day life. I haven’t found any sort of planner than is actually laid out the way I want and need.

So I think I’ll make my own. Something to hold all the little pieces so that I don’t fall apart.

Daybook for Dreamers? 🙂

And in case you missed it: I’m doing a necklace giveaway! For your chance to win this:

Click here and leave a comment after the post! I’ll take all the names and randomize them to get a winner next week!

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. February 2, 2012 7:24 pm

    Thanks for this post, Ana June. I identify with the “overwhelmed with stuff to do? I know, I’ll do more!” syndrome. What the hey. Play now, there will be plenty of time to sleep later.

  2. February 2, 2012 9:52 pm

    I’m still in the middle of the chaos right now. It’s nice to know that it eases up soon. 🙂

  3. March 7, 2012 7:45 pm

    I am so where you were when you first started your blog. I have four kids. 2 teenage boys, and 2 little girls under the age of 2! Maybe I should have named my blog: 222 (that’s the number of the beast!) but I didn’t. I have been so busy, and so tired and so overwhelmed, but I have loved every minute of it. I really enjoy learning everyday how to “do it better” next time, and have to remind my self that I will be where you are one day, and that I will miss these fleeting moments when my girls are little, and the boys still here.

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