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dreaming of attack sparrows

January 4, 2011

In the thin light of dawn I dreamed I slipped out of bed, soundlessly. Parted the curtains. Outside, the light cast a violet haze over a vine-twisted landscape studded with iridescent yellow flowers. I looked in awe, the world appeared to be breathing…the air, warm and thick with life. Without knowing how, I drifted through the window into the lushness that had overcome my frozen, one-track driveway.

That’s when I realized there were two strange cars parked near mine. The first was a VW Bug, and as I walked closer I realized Chris was sitting behind the wheel.

“Hey,” he said, lifting his eyes to me. “Did you mail that package?”

Before I could answer I turned to the second car. A young man I’d never seen before sat in the driver’s seat.

“Hey,” he called out.

I looked at him quizzically.

“I came over to find out if Chris mailed that package?” he asked.

Without speaking, I communicated my annoyance to both of them, and drifted away. Became quickly preoccupied with an old door in the house wall behind the apple tree. I remember this door, I thought to myself, before losing interest and drifting through a breezeway between the main part of the house and the kids’ bedrooms that I knew, even in my dream, wasn’t really supposed to be there.

That’s when I ran into the sparrow.

I think I tried to cuddle it, but then it started flapping all around me, dive bombing me to grab at my arms and legs and face. I tried to swat it away without hurting it but it was persistent. I finally ran away, back to the lush flowering vines of the driveway, where I rescued a tiny baby bird that had, paradoxically, fallen out of the hole its mother had built. I brushed maggots off of it…I can still recall how that felt.

Then, I woke up.

The morning from there was all about scurrying to get the kids to school–winter break is officially over for Chiara and Graysen. There was hair to brush and breakfast to make. Shoes to tie. Twice. A frozen morning, sadly bereft of vines and shimmering flowers, to walk quickly through.

I am under no illusion that I will ever awaken to find vines and flowers curling beneath my bedroom window, but…. I will hopefully never wake up to a vicious sparrow attack either. And I can grow things…lots of things. Time to start making some lists.

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