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cleanse fail

January 8, 2010

Change got a little fuzzy tonight.

I succumbed.

The kids and I came to my mom’s to discuss, uh, cookbooks (I know, bad thing to talk about when one is eschewing food) and she arrived with armloads of….food. Mashed potatoes. Pot stickers. Broccoli. Fried rice from my favorite Indian restaurant.

Oh. My.

I rationalized my first pot sticker with: hey, I DID quit caffeine. That is quite the accomplishment!

The second one I just ate and loved.

The fried rice with tofu looked…healthy. So I had a few spoonfuls.

Then, astonishingly, I was full. Two pot stickers, five tablespoons of fried rice, and two pieces of broccoli did me in.

And conquered the craving, which I’m sure will be back with a vengeance tomorrow. Of course, we’re invited to a friend’s house for dinner tomorrow night so I s’pose I should eat something.

I know. I know. Fail.

But you know something? I’m okay with this for several reasons:
1. I quit caffeine and have no desire to go back.
2. I have become nearly food-obsessed recently, and not just because I started a cleanse. There’s some je ne sais quoi about food and cooking that has taken over my waking hours starting last fall. Suddenly, I want to learn how to understand food, not just follow a recipe. I even looked up the culinary courses available at the community college today, and entertained the idea of taking two in the fall, two more in the spring. Yes, all this from a mama who’d always hated cooking for one reason or another.
3. I felt better when I was eating a few raw veggies and soup during the day, than when I was only drinking the Master Cleanse Lemonade. I do realize that if I lasted a couple more days that would have changed. I also realize that maybe I didn’t just quit my cleanse but rather had a momentary lapse of reason from which I can pick up where I left off with potstickers in hand tonight.
4. My husband, Chris, talked about maybe trying this cleanse too, during his week home (next week!). So maybe it will be easier to do it with him?
5. I apparently shrunk my stomach.
6. I have this abiding urge to start power hiking, which I imagine will help further my personal health goals something fierce.
7. Last but not least, I can always start over another time and do it a bit differently.

So maybe it wasn’t a fail after all. Maybe what it taught me is that moderation is the key to success in my own life.

Or something like that.

And maybe, just maybe, I get some major points for saying no thanks to the dessert de la nuit here at Mom’s: Eggos with mixed berries and syrup. Yeah. I tend to like Eggos…so this is definitely call for POINTS.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Laura permalink
    January 9, 2010 8:56 am

    Mornin’! Thanks for sharing your journey — and I think our upcoming evening with Cinny will be really fun!

    Keep up the good work! Love, Mom

  2. January 9, 2010 11:55 am

    This is exactly how I do it too, what you described about raw food and miso, and then a little healthy food, after having intended to do the cleanse. I have found that it really is very good for me anyway, even though it’s not total cleanse all the way.

  3. ana june permalink
    January 12, 2010 9:21 am

    Yep…gotta eat a little. Also lots of juice. It’s gentler and I still feel great. So, I’m plugging away, being good to myself. And realistic. At least I gave up caffeine! 🙂

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